When it comes to relationships I’ve always told myself one thing ” I would rather be wanted than to be needed”.
I only want to be needed by my children, but as a partner as a love interested I want you to WANT me to be in your life emotionally, sexually, ect. I want to be the best friend, the lover, I want to be the last thing you think of at night and the first thing you think about in the morning. I want the mere thought of me to bring a smile to your face. Now that’s not saying that we won’t fight or have relationship problems, but I want to be chosen.
On that note…I want to be wanted sexually. I strive to attain this physique for me and no one else, but it helps when your lover wants your physique and finds you as sexy as you find yourself. The past few weeks I’ve been battling with the fact that there are just very very very limited men who are normal who are interested in a woman with muscle. Sure it is my belief that most men have some secret muscle desire, but honestly there are very very few men who actually desire female muscle and aren’t creepy perverts. I’m very picky with who I talk to or date. It’s much too difficult to find a normal guy who finds you and your muscle sexy and doesn’t want to do some muscle/strength worship thing with you. I’m human. I want someone who is sexually attracted to my muscle, sexually attracted to my personality, and sexually attracted to my mind. I want to be with someone who finds me sexy when I’m beating his ass in video games, and a man who finds me sexy when I just came back from the gym and my body looks abnormally muscular because of the pump I just got from lifting, but I also want someone who thinks I’m sexy while I’m cleaning, and reading and being goofy.
Sad truth is, apparently I’m asking for too much. I thought I had found men who fit my criteria (well at least the muscle lover criteria), but although there are men who love big/heavy set women and men who love very thin/big boobs women, I guess it’s just nearly impossible to find a man who loves muscle and isn’t a creep or says they love female muscle, but in reality they aren’t really specific in actually loving female muscle. I suffered a set back when a couple weeks ago I realized that men like this almost don’t exist. It made me feel that I would never find that special someone. Totally sucks
That doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on my muscle. I have a muscle lust of my own. I find myself sexier and more appealing when I have more muscle. That will never cease. I either have to pray for my guy to come..or I’ll just have to suffer through it and realize that being alone just might be what I’m burdened with. Which is tough, because anyone who really knows me..knows I LOVE being around that one special someone. I’ma hopeless (hopeless being the key word) romantic.