That’s pretty much the deal. I’m slipping. After the first 8 weeks of this prep..I lost my guidance, my support, myself. I was working with a friend who put together my diet and some of my training, but she was pretty much about herself and didn’t actually believe in me at all and became completely is out of the picture. Support? Like I’ve mentioned…I’m a private person who has few close friends. Those people know me ..those people were people I shared everything with..especially my muscle love, bodybuilding…my desires. Honestly….they are gone too. I don’t want to waste the time sharing things with people who I don’t think really give a fuck. Which now leads me to a loss of me. My drive is missing. Completely. When I shut those other people out…I lost my outlet…so my desires became lost. Of course I will never stop wanting muscle or to get bigger and leaner, but my subconscious drive is gone. So gone I can barely get myself to get up at 5 am anymore to train. Absolutely sleep through my alarm. My diet is not where it should be. Not eating enough, not eating clean enough…just not acceptable…its really starting to depress me that I can’t snap back into it. I have no one else..I have no other goals..i can’t lose that which is me. I NEED me back asap. I’m tired of being depressed. I’m better than this


4 responses to “Slipping

  • Pickem_up76

    I know this issue all to well. And recently have been rather discurged my self. Between work family (two kids and a wife) not to mention the major money commitment this takes i hsve been lacking focus also. But recently i hsve found a few people that have told me not to give up. It may not happen in the time frame you want but if will happen. Thats what i tell my self. So i applaud you for how far you have come and you will be on stage again looking awesome. Just might not be the time frame you want. So just as they told me i will tell you dont give up. Peace and blessings.

  • Pickem_up76

    Trust me this hits home for me. I have a family who needs me two young kids an career an on top of all that i want to be on the bodybuilding stage. It can be very fustrating when i have to split my time and tey to get if all done. How do i do it how do i do it? Franly i dont most of the time my training suffers. But the one think i keep in my mind is the goal. And i slug and push my self a little closer every do to that goal. I recently jad a convo with a ifbb pro who was telling me how hard it is and how much it takes just to get in stage. I am not sure when i will get there but i will and i take a step toward it every day. Try to stay positive i am sure you will reach your goal. If just might not happen in the time frame you would like.

  • Distant

    Hi Val,

    I’m just gonna start by acknowledging that you don’t know me. I read your blog because i find it and you inspiring and motivating.

    My name is Johnny. I am 31. I live in Australia.

    I am truly sorry to see you going through what you are. Based on what I know of you from reading your posts, I know you have the drive to get through it. I know also that at times everything appears to stack up against us as people. These are the times you need to focus on what is important to you. On one goal. Consider it like a boat tied to a wharf. When the seas get rough the boat gets tossed around but being tied to that one thing (the wharf) keeps it from floating adrift.

    And the seas will be calm again.

    I don’t know if it helps, but I am reminded of two sayings. The first of which is a Chinese proverb. It is very simple but absolutely true: “The sun will come up again”

    When you think about it, when has the sun never come up? Who can ever stop the sun from rising? What I take from this is that no matter how dark things seem for you, they will get lighter. It is just a matter of waiting it out.

    The other saying I am reminded of is “If you’re going through hell, the only way out is to keep going”. That one is pretty self explanatory.

    I hope things look up for you Val. If you ever want to chat feel free to email me at or find me on Facebook. My name is Johnny Griever.

    Stay awesome 🙂

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