I Don’t like this feeling…

At this very moment I’m completely EVERYWHERE!! I’m emotional to an extreme. I’m not sure what the problem is or where it’s stemming from, but it’s rubbing me the wrong way.

Lately I’ve just felt like either my adrenaline is too high or its so low that i’m sluggish. My fbb friend who is doing my diet asked me if I might need more carbs in my diet. Honestly..I have no idea. I feel like I’m having a good amount of carbs daily, but then again I’m comparing this diet to the one I did in 2011. I think I might have been having the same amount of grams daily..about 230 grams or so of carbs (not including greens of course), but I shouldn’t be comparing the 2. Why??  Well to start..I’m 10lbs heavier than when I started the last prep, but I’ve been adding a ton of muscle for the last 1.5 years. I’m much more muscular and my muscles need the carbs.  And second…I’m training harder than I did before, heavier than I ever have..AND I’m doing cardio. Last prep I didnt start cardio until I was 18 weeks in.  So in short….I NEED MORE CARBS!!

Next…I haven’t been sleeping well. Yea the ZMA I’ve been taking should add for a restful sleep, but I get up at 5 am and I swear it’s almost as though I haven’t slept. Nonetheless I get up and I train 6 days a week..and I do my cardio 6 days a week after work. Naps don’t help..I just feel more unsettled…waking up all groggy and confused..no bueno lmao.  So in short…Big Val needs to learn how to calm down and actually rest.

Overall..I do feel great. It’s just the last 2 days I’ve been off my game and I don’t want to ever have an off day. Yes..I’m not such a perfectionist that I don’t understand that things can go wrong and that if it’s out of my control I can’t fix them, but….I’m DETERMINED..to make this work. I don’t want anything to deviate me. THAT is something I can control…I would just like to make sure that all variables are in line so I can do my best to prevent them from happening.

I’m doing my best to get to know my body and I think based on the last 3 weeks..I’ve been doing a great job. 17 more weeks to go..that’s all. I just need to keep going….

….so that one day I will look like Aleesha Young…HA HA HA (no I’m not joking…I want to look similar to Aleesha Young) 🙂 🙂 🙂

The beautiful, muscular, fabulous Aleesha Young

The beautiful, muscular, fabulous Aleesha Young

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