I’m becoming who I need to become

I know it makes no sense..but every once in a while I test myself. I ask myself do I truly want to be as muscular and big as I’m aiming to be? Do I really want this commitment? Is this really who I think I need to be?? And without fail, no matter what..I find that the answer is always a “HELL YES!!”.

NO..never just a “yes”…it’s always a “HELL YESS”.

The feeling down deep inside is so confident…so decisive and sure that I do want to BE what I’ve been striving for. I want the 30+ inch quads, I want the huge traps that most women think is unfeminine..I want the arms that most men wish they had, but can probably not attain. No…I dont care what society thinks of what I want to look like. No I certainly dont care if men dont hit on me because i’m too buff (because trust me…they still will). With that strong a feeling of certainty that I have within me…my decision to become what I want is never going to change. Ever.

How do I know??? All I have to do is take a look at any other female body builder that has substantial size..and without fail…I will become green with envy.  Just be analyzing what “she” did..or how she looks I will instantly start to make myself feel bad because I tell myself I’m no where near her size. And right then and there….I know…that this is what I want.  The same concept is true for women who look at models in magazines and wish they were them. It just so happens that I find bodybuilders like Monica Mollica and become jealous as all hell.

Its a great feeling to know what it is that you are aiming for. To have a destination in life is so necessary to make life worth living. I’m elated to realize that I’m on my right track.

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