It’s odd!! I spend all my time contemplating..training..planning..wishing that I were bigger (hell…that will never cease), but it almost feels like I’ve grown over night. I rarely look at myself and say “Damn Val..you’ve grown alot!” It’s usually always “Damn…I need to figure out how to get bigger.” On my mind daily I’m constantly trying to figure out how to lift better to get bigger, or how many days I can lift to get bigger, or even how many times in a week is it OK to lift the same body group. Yes…this sounds kind of crazy, but it relieves me. It soothes me to have a plan. Thinking about it over and over helps me convince myself that I CAN achieve the obstacles that I face.
(enough ranting about my craziness..lol..I swear…this is going somewhere)
Today, while talking with my friends at work, they noticed that my boobs were noticibly bigger. Well…I had an answer for them. “My boobs look bigger cause my pecs are getting bigger” Ooooh. They were intrigued (hell…I love my friends but they could care less about my desire for bigger pecs..lmao). To prove to them that my pecs were getting bigger..I preceeded to flex for them so they could feel how big I was becoming. Trust me..between my friends and I..”touching” is not at all a weird uncomfortable thing for us..lmao. They were shocked that my pecs looked and felt so BIG!! They then turned their hands onto their own pecs..and tried to flex..and upon watching them trying to find their pecs something within me became satisfied. THEY HAVE NO PECS!
Here I am day in and day out not even NOTICING the changes that are occuring in my body. It took my friends clumsily trying to FIND their own pecs for me to realize that not only did they not have pecs, but that my pecs are huge. Normal women dont have the muscle I have. And I should be proud that I do. I need to start noticing my accomplishments no matter how far away I am from my ultimate goal.
I’m growing..I’m getting closer and closer to my goal. And I’m proud of myself. 🙂