I often discuss my plans of “bigness” over and over with a certain someone. To others I would appear insane..or obsessed mainly because of how frequently I talk about it..how much I dwell on it..how much I plan for it..how much I envision it. Shit…when I think about how often I think about gaining size and being a fairly large female bodybuilder…even I think I sound a little psycho, but hey..it makes me happy.
It’s very uncommon (so i’ve heard) for a woman even a body builder woman to want to gain as much size as I want to gain. No..I dont plan on looking hella manly with my 20inch arms and 30+ quads/hammies, but I do have measurements in mind of how big I want to be and surprisingly..it’s not far off from the current measurements of many IFBB Male bodybuilders ;). I personally believe it will just make me sexier. Size on me..just seems to bring out this thing in me. Which i like. I would have never thought that I would be the type to look better as I get more muscular. Some might disagree, but damn…the bigger and thicker my arms, legs and back look…the sexier I think I look..and the sexier i feel. IT’S AWESOME!!
I’ve always been a bigger girl, and through life I never wanted to be that big girl who was big cause she was “fat”…I wanted people to see me as that big girl who was very strong. The idea of getting bigger, gaining mass, being the biggest female bodybuilder ever really really excites me.
Someone made a comment to me yesterday…”I dont understand, you didnt have these desires to get massive before January…”. Basically he wanted to know where this need to get big came from. In January, here I was attempting to do a contest prep for Figure..and here I am 9 months later completely against me ever doing Figure and instead hoping to be the biggest Female Bodybuilder ever. Weird, but as I analyzied where this came from..I realized..it was always there. There was no way I was going to do Figure..I would have freaked out and threw a fit if my coaches told me that I would need to lose muscle mass. Pssh…I freaked when I lost muscle mass doing my 1st contest prep for bodybuilding..lol.
Basically…I want to get big…and that’s all there is to it 🙂 The best feeling in the world is to know what you want to do with the rest of your life…and bodybuilding is it. And if not to compete…then just to build my body the way I’ve always wanted to.
I build my body because it makes me happy.