It brings me joy :)

I often discuss my plans of “bigness” over and over with a certain someone.  To others I would appear insane..or obsessed mainly because of  how frequently I talk about it..how much I dwell on it..how much I plan for it..how much I envision it. Shit…when I think about how often I think about gaining size and being a fairly large female bodybuilder…even I think I sound a little psycho, but hey..it makes me happy.

It’s very uncommon (so i’ve heard) for a woman even a body builder woman to want to gain as much size as I want to gain. No..I dont plan on looking hella manly with my 20inch arms and 30+ quads/hammies, but I do have measurements in mind of how big I want to be and surprisingly..it’s not far off from the current measurements of many IFBB Male bodybuilders ;).  I personally believe it will just make me sexier.  Size on me..just seems to bring out this thing in me.  Which i like.  I would have never thought that I would be the type to look better as I get more muscular.  Some might disagree, but damn…the bigger and thicker my arms, legs and back look…the sexier I think I look..and the sexier i feel.  IT’S AWESOME!!

Kim Perez has amazing arms. I would look great with this kind of size 😉

I’ve always been a bigger girl, and through life I never wanted to be that  big girl who was big cause she was “fat”…I wanted people to see me as that big girl who was very strong.  The idea of getting bigger, gaining mass, being the biggest female bodybuilder ever really really excites me.

Someone made a comment to me yesterday…”I dont understand, you didnt have these desires to get massive before January…”.  Basically he wanted to know where this need to get big came from.  In January, here I was attempting to do a contest prep for Figure..and here I am 9 months later completely against me ever doing Figure and instead hoping to be the biggest Female Bodybuilder ever.  Weird, but as I analyzied where this came from..I realized..it was always there. There was no way I was going to do Figure..I would have freaked out and threw a fit if my coaches told me that I would need to lose muscle mass. Pssh…I freaked when I lost muscle mass doing my 1st contest prep for bodybuilding..lol.

Basically…I want to get big…and that’s all there is to it 🙂 The best feeling in the world is to know what you want to do with the rest of your life…and bodybuilding is it.  And if not to compete…then just to build my body the way I’ve always wanted to.

I build my body because it makes me happy.

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6 responses to “It brings me joy :)

  • JG

    Great post as always. Kim Perez is gorgeous – did you see pictures of her from the Olympia? Bigger than ever (and more beautiful than ever). Excellent role model. Keep on writing!

    • chocolatemuscle

      thanks sweetheart. i think she is a great role model as well. I find that my physique is more like Monique Jones though,but then again, i have yet to start truly shaping my physique so who knows i might be able to get as big and robust as Kim Perez. it’s my hopes any way. Her muscle is so full and her look is idea. and you’re absolutely correct. She is BEAUTIFUL. I was at Olympia, but i didnt get to see Kim in person 😦

      • JG

        Monique Jones is fantastic as well, you can’t go wrong with either her or Kim; but as you know, the most important thing is just to be the best version of yourself that you can.

        You should come to watch Nationals in Miami Beach in November. That is where I live, and I go every time they hold it here (used to be every 3 years, now every 2). It is a fun show, and a great place to visit, and you need to know the Nationals process for when you are ready to win it and get your pro card!

      • chocolatemuscle

        Thanks for the invite, but i’ve been to several shows now. i plan to go to Junior Nationals in June and the USAs in Vegas is not far from where i live.

  • Alis PTTS

    Heya, I think you are amazing. It’s really relieving to read about someone embracing themself as they are (i.e. you know you were always ‘bigger’ so you’re working in a way that is realistic for you!). 🙂

    Sure you’ll reach your bodybuilding goals!

    Love the name Chocolate Muscle. XD

    • chocolatemuscle

      aww..thanks so much. that was sweet 🙂 yea..i’ve always been trying to find a way to best market myself..too myself. spent too many years being disgusted with myself..so when i found lifting..i got excited..and then when i found bodybuilding…i felt the love i never gave myself. 🙂
      and thanks..i was toying with several names (“Muscle Creature” and others), but i like the chocolate reference i always give myself 😉

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