I’m very hard on myself.

VERY VERY  hard on myself.

And it’s not because I think I”m doing a bad job..it’s because I expect alot more out of myself than I expect from others. Why? why not? I have a low self-esteem. Most people would not believe that from the way I carry myself, but I’m dont have a very good view of myself. It’s changing though..I promise you. but in the meantime, I will continue to push myself..my mind..my body to levels that I dont expect others to achieve.

I like the idea that I’m super human. It helps propel me to reach limits I never believed that even I could achieve. And I think that’s a great mindset to have. So I’m keeping it..lmao.

On that note..I’m a little annoyed at how I performed training this morning.

Today I trained chest…and it didnt meet my standards…and that pisses me off more than some would understand. I expect that based on my goals and my determination that every training session needs to be perfect. I dont need to be worrying about how poorly I trained when diet weighs so heavily on my mind..it’s unacceptable..so training needs to ALWAYS meet my standards.

Heather Armbrust with GIANT MUSCLES (my new fav fbb)

For the most part..I know why my training was not good today..and it’s all my fault!!! I trained REAL INTENSE on Saturday…and when I wasn’t satisfied with my morning training..I went back at night..and instead of doing the 45 min cardio I was supposed to do…I trained again.  I didnt feel the pump or the intensity I wanted to feel in the morning so I did it again..only this time..HEAVIER. Yes..yes I know I overtrained..no that’s not going to stop me..I just have to learn how to stop. It’s very hard for me to be able to stop, but I know my body well enough to know WHEN to stop…so it’s just a matter of actually doing it. So today while training chest I was VERY VERY sore. And sore lats and shoulders make it very difficult to lift weights and press with your chest, but it’s ok..like I said…I’ve got to just STOP!!

Gotta remember..over training does not make muscles grow.  And my main objective right now is Fat loss AND giant muscles..lmao



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