6 Weeks..oh damn!!

So funny how this is a reality now. I mean sure..it’s always been a reality. I panicked at 20 weeks…15 weeks…10 weeks and tons of times in between. But most of you would never know…i hide it well.

6 weeks till I step on stage and compete as a bodybuilder for the first time in my hopefully long career. And I’m not ready. Not ready mentally, not ready emotionally..and not ready physically.  I’m not where I WANT to be. and I know I’m not where my coaches want me to be, but they seem oddly optimistic..which is the only reason why on a day to day basis I fight to stay optimistic as well.

It’s damn hard though.  My metabolism is all messed up and not firing..due in part to some minor mistakes on my part..which SUCKS!! but its reversible. It’s left me several pounds of fat behind where I should be. I mean..iIve always had a problem losing fat, my body likes to plateau..and any minor mistake just halts this process.  My fight right now is with my mind. Stress, stress and more stress. Let me tell you..I’m the type that stresses over being stressed.  It’s compounded.  I’m doing my  best to not let this happen, but its always been who I am..I’m not sure what it feels like to be literally care free.  It’s just not in my nature, but I’m trying…

Working on putting together a timeline for myself of weekly, daily goals that I can work towards to keep my mind under control..so that when July 9th comes around..and I’m walking in the convention hall in San Jose for the competitors meeting..I will be able to tell myself  “you’re exactly where you need to be..and you made a HUGE difference these last 6 weeks”.(lame..I know..but right now that’s the most positive thought I can muster..lol)

Just got to keep myself under control..and NOT stress.

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6 responses to “6 Weeks..oh damn!!

  • Donloree

    It is not lame at all. It is brave, honest, and powerful…which is exactly what you happen to be I can’t wait to see what these 6 weeks bring! Go get it girl!!

  • Juliet

    Hi! I just found your blog! 🙂 It’s always nice to see another female bodybuilder.

    The last few weeks of prep are certainly the most stressful, or at least they were for me. Low carb days bringing down, depleted energy, just being worn out. But remember, it all has a purpose, there is an end in sight. One of the best pieces of advice I was given was to not think about it in terms of “6 weeks left”. Set (much) smaller goals. Get to the end of work. Get through one more leg day. Eat one more meal.

    You can do it – just keep your confidence and focus 🙂

    • chocolatemuscle

      aww you’re wonderful 🙂 thanks so much. it is very nice to meet another female bb..there aren’t many of us 🙂 🙂 Yea..my plans have changed..i now have 11 weeks (welll 10 weeks 5 days)..lmao, pushed my show date back to try to lose more fat. but you’re right..i need to start thinking of everything as in the moment..if i think about the end i panic. and i dont do thinks to my potential. i felt that “get through this workout” this morning while training quads..and i’ll say..i was able to go heavier and push harder..it was a GREAT feeling 🙂
      hope to see you around more 🙂
      i’m on twitter: @chocolate_wowo and on fb: http://www.facebook.com/valerie.wowo 🙂 add me

  • A Fine Balance

    competing in 6 weeks too for my first fitness competition!
    I am freaking out as well Its so great to hear that its not only me that other people who though this as well.

    So glad that there is an amazing community out there to support one another through these tough goals. You’re going to be amazing! look at those guns! haha

    • chocolatemuscle

      aww yea…6 weeks was a tough outlook, but i changed it WHEW..i feel like a weight has been lifted of my chest. i now have 10 weeks 4 days till my show..hopefully i WONT be in the same place again when 6 weeks rolls around 🙂 Good luck with your show. Fitness is HARD..i’m not sure how you women even DO IT..lmao.

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