I MUST remember…

..what i’m attempting to do is NOT expected to be conquered by MOST!!

It really isn’t!! At times i wonder how it is i’m doing it.

Contest prep is at 8.5 weeks till show time, and my body is giving in.  Of course i know i’ve heard how this process is very grueling on the mind and the body, but it never occured to me exactly HOW this happens. I’ll tell you..from what i can tell your body takes the beating day in and day out..because the mind is determined to do what it needs to do to succeed. But oh no..the body being beat up is NOTHING..it’s what happens to your mind once you’ve beaten your body up enough to the point where your mind can no longer control what your body is doing.

Did i mention my mind likes to go to sleep all the time now cause of this taxing of the system?? YEP

Now it’s time to call on a will power you never knew existed and never imagined you’d have the power to summon.

Just had the worst training session EVER in my 5 years of lifting weight consecutively. It was hammie day today..and WOW..the receptors that control the body were NOT active today. I’d like to think i’m relatively strong for a woman (well DAMN i better be strong with all this muscle looking this big..lol), but today while doing Stiff Leg Deads i found my mind wanting to do one thing and my body not be able to do HALF that.  I’ve always been able to go heavier on SDLs than RDLs (Romanian Deadlift) NOT TODAY!! Nope..today..my body said..”HA..Val want to try again?”..and that was when i thought i was lifting a light weight (165lbs)..not even..my body wasn’t having it. I went all the way down to 135lbs and even then my body was pissed. I didnt care though..this was below the belt for me and I was NOT going to let her win DAMNIT!!

It’s almost like my body doesn’t want to understand that i’m trying to win here..lmao.  Of course i know that i’ve been taxing my body..and i know it needs rest and lost more food, but now is not the time for her to complain..she HAS to do this.  i was MADE for this!!!

It almost feels like i’m fighting with myself. I’m sure that if i didn’t have music i would be done for. The distraction helps me not think..and at times i need to NOT think. Hopefully i will have this moment of SURGE where my brain sends this amazing strength of power over my body and starts moving it like a puppet. Something you would see in some Superhero movie.

I have a superpower..and it’s called BEAST!! It happens when conquer whatever i put your mind to..and i’m going to harness her 🙂 WHY?



4 responses to “I MUST remember…

  • Marcus Langford

    Love this post! This is post that everyone who has ever competed as a bodybuilder has experienced-including myself. Not to take anything away from figure, fitness, or bikini competitors but I honestly feel that bodybuilders have to push themselves past the point of no return to look their absolute best and just like you said, very few people will want to take themselves there and that is why competitive bodybuilding is only for a chosen few. Have you ever seen Kai Greene’s documentary ‘A NEW BREED’? He hit that same wall that you are hitting and during a set of SDL he just gave in! It was too much to bear and his body just rebelled. While reading your post, all I could do was think about that part of Kai’s DVD where he just yelled out “DAMN!” as a result of his physical frustration. I encourage you to keep calling on the “beast” and keep your focus. The finish line is almost here sis and I believe you will pass through in grand fashion.

    • chocolatemuscle

      i FINALLY got the chance to read this..and you’re AWESOME!! Yea i did watch Kai’s DVD..i have it..ha ha. (saved on my comp that is). Oh yea..and i remember when he hit that wall. I guess somehow when he couldn’t do it..my mind said “it’s cause he’s a badass and he pushes himself too hard”..it didnt occur to me that that was just normal for a bb competitor. WHEW..thanks for your support babe..i really appreciate it. i’ll keep calling myself “beast”…it’s my way of making myself believe it 😉

  • Donloree

    You were made for this!! And yes there are bad days…but they just make the good days great! Rest well!!

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